Amaranthine; a blog of original poetry

 I ran so far That I feel a pulse everywhere. I ran so far That I've become the heart itself. I think no more Because it has given me nothing, I reason no more Because it has given me nothing. But the heart has given me Raw humanity, Poetry, A girl; At least beautiful fantasies about one. My heart used to beat Behind a frosted glass window Within myself. But now it has thawed And I see it clearly. I saw that it was scarred; That it was leaking blood. It gave me pain, And learning to tolerate the pain Has given me so much pleasure.

 Feet with shoes neatly tied, Kept touching each other, With a flower nearby. There is an instinct to crush it. But I resist And look at the dew glittering, The stalk sticking out, The red lines on yellow petals. I resist And watch the wind move it away from my feet, Afraid of the animal in me. I am also human, But they don’t see it. I am also capable, But they don't see it. They see an old jug, And keep it in the museum For eyes that fake appreciation To show others they are ‘cultured’. They keep it in the museum, Forgetting it is still useful. They saw me become an animal once And I kept being an animal forever Inside them.

 There is a straw in the glass. But there is no juice. There is a straw in the glass, Never removed, As if it was kept there to suck up air; As if the air in the glass is somehow different. There is so much absurdity; Threads of so many different colours through the hole On the same needle. There is so much absurdity, That logic is useless. That's why We have art, That's why We have those friendly lads with tattoos, Doing crazy stuff on a packed road. That's why We have mystery, Poetry, The dry leaf that balances on the rim of the bin Without falling in or out. They build systems, They build roads That claim to reach places. We have tried to curb the absurdity And failed miserably. We have tried And realized we shouldn’t try. We have tried And learned to embrace the different, The poetic, The absurd. There is a beauty in it.

 I look at the world with sleepy eyes And see wild horses run over the ocean. I look at the world with sleepy eyes And see fire wet things. I look at the world with sleepy eyes And see clouds in the sand, Footprints in the sky. I'm sleepy, I'm dreamy And I see so much more Than the others see. And the therapists say I've something. But the rest of the people are nicer; At least, They only say you're mad. I'm sleepy, I'm dreamy. But I don’t hurt anyone, I don't drag anyone to my mad world; At least not directly. But they have problems with me That I do not understand. They try to get rid of me For reasons I don’t understand. And it forces me to stay in my dream world For longer.

 I sit on a couch and watch the movie with the others. And they don't see it happen in me; I see a character play the violin And feel the pinches of my violin teacher on my shoulder. I see a perfect woman character and fall for her, And kick her out  When she does something stupid. I see a fight and I feel a pain that doesn’t exist; A pain none of the actors feel. Then the ads come, And my mind goes bullocks About the wounded dog I saw limp away, The football match I missed, The girl I met. They all play in my mind at the same time, Like many discs playing hits songs in the same room, Sounding like nothing but crap. But at least, It's less annoying Than the small talk I’ve to have with people.

 I began to understand you  Only after loosing you To the fire, The storm, The angry tides I understood you're Like chess Where a soldier knocks out a diagonal soldier Just because it's not the same colour; Like a clock Where gears of all sizes are needed To make a tick. Like a flower Called so for having petals, Like a hand Called so for having fingers, Like a shadow, A raindrop rolling down a peach, A ray of light, A lens, The mist between the hills.

 I stood on the grass And my shadow fell on a yellow flower With a ladybug on its petals. There was a marker in my hand That I stole from someone's desk. I stood on the grass In the morning When the sunlight makes the dew on the mead Glitter like the ocean. I stood on the grass And forgot for a moment That I was sitting there alone With no socks And a hole in my shoe. I smiled at the flower Like I was possessed, And those passing by stared at me; At the young man with frizzy hair Who has lost his mind. There was a man selling balloons to the children. I called a little girl towards me. “How do I look?” I asked, smiling. She took the marker from me And drew something on the balloon Before giving it to me. There was a sad face on the balloon; The lips turned downward. I looked at it And smiled even more. It was pretty to look at. So I took it home. Now I don’t know where I lost it. A Date I Made Up In My Mind I know I've told you nothing, And I don’t know if you know I exist. But...